If you and your spouse or co-parent are parting ways or encounter issues post-divorce, making decisions concerning your children can be difficult. While every parent wants to create a parenting time arrangement that is in the best interests of their children, this isn’t always an easy task. In some cases, it may be best to bring in a parenting consultant who can assist with parenting matters and help the parties avoid conflicts concerning these issues in the future.

What is a Parenting Consultant?

A parenting consultant, often called a PC for short, is a neutral third party who is brought into a case to resolve conflicts between parents. They usually have a background in law and/or mental health. Similar to a judge, this individual makes decisions regarding parenting time and various other parenting plan provisions. Importantly, while they can assist with resolving disputes and educating parents, unlike an attorney, they do not take sides and cannot provide legal advice.

The appointment of a parenting consultant requires the consent of both parties. The agreement must be formalized through a stipulation and order signed by the parents and a judge. If one parent objects to using a parenting consultant, the court has no authority to appoint one. The Court can not unilaterally order the use of a parenting consultant. Parenting consultants are often used for long-term work after the divorce decree is final. If a parenting consultant would be helpful during the divorce process, you can get a temporary order to appoint a parenting consultant. If you want to have a parenting consultant in place for post-divorce, you can either incorporate it into the decree or have a separate order.

What Issues Can a Parenting Consultant Determine?

Using a parenting consultant can be very effective in resolving parental conflict. They work with parents to educate and assist them in reaching joint decisions. Still, if the parents can not reach an agreement, they can make binding decisions in the best interest of the child around issues where parents are having difficulty reaching a settlement. Unlike waiting for a decision from the court, which can sometimes take weeks, a parenting consultant can evaluate the case and make a determination within days or possibly hours. They can not determine physical or legal custody designations, however.

There is no provision in Minnesota law that grants a parenting consultant certain powers. Rather, the parents must agree which issues to give them authority to determine. This means that a parenting consultant’s duties and responsibilities can be specifically tailored to the situation, and are different in every case.

Some of the issues a parenting consultant may decide can include the following:

• Parenting time — One of the primary issues a parenting consultant can help with is creating a parenting time schedule.
• Transportation issues — A parenting consultant can decide a variety of issues related to transportation. These can include who is responsible for school pickups and drop-offs, where custody exchanges will take place, and transportation costs when parents live a distance from each other.
• Holiday and vacation time — Parents may give a parenting consultant the authority to decide how parenting time will be divided on holidays and during school vacations.
• Educational matters — A parenting consultant can determine where the child will attend school or daycare and what extra-curricular activities they will participate in.
• Medical decisions — While a parenting consultant cannot make medical decisions for a child, they can help parents reach an agreement regarding medical care matters.
• Communication between parents — The means and frequency of communication can be decided by a parenting consultant.
• Parenting consultant fees – While both parents will usually split the costs, a parenting consultant may be given the authority to decide which party pays the fee.

While a parenting consultant cannot alter a court order, they can offer recommendations to the parents regarding a modification. Changing an existing court order would require making a formal motion to the court, or the parties can stipulate to modifications.

What are the Benefits of Using a Parenting Consultant?

A parenting consultant can assist parents with negotiating an agreement out of court during or after divorce, and help them avoid lengthy and costly litigation. Significantly, parents get to decide which issues the parenting consultant determines, rather than let a judge who does not know them or their family decide. Parenting consultants take the time to get to know the family and what challenges the parents face. This allows them to create customized solutions that meet the needs of the family. If you need decisions made, they can make binding decisions. For higher-conflict parents, this can be especially helpful post-decree.

Benefits of using a parenting consultant can include:

• Saving money that would otherwise be spent on litigation
• Helping parents remain amicable and focus on the child
• Reducing the stress that can come with a lengthy court battle
• Achieving a faster resolution to parenting time matters
• Improving communication between co-parents
• Helping parents manage complex emotions
• Ensuring the best interests of the children are met

In addition, a parenting consultant can help educate parents and teach them problem-solving skills that they can use in the future. They may also be able to provide parents with on-going support to help reduce the potential for conflict and ensure a positive co-parenting relationship for the benefit of the children.

How is a Parenting Consultant Different from a Family Specialist in the Collaborative Process?

A family specialist in a collaborative divorce can help parents create a developmentally appropriate parenting plan, and can meet with the child(ren) if the parents agree and provide feedback to the parents. They can also gather the developmental history of the children talking to the parents, educate and inform them about the needs of children going through divorce, help parents create a “We Statement” to tell the children about the divorce, and be an ongoing resource after the divorce as issues arise that parents need help resolving.

A family specialist is a mental health professional with expertise in divorce, child development, family systems, and mediation. They are not appointed by the court, so there is no special order that is needed to work with them, and they do not have the authority to make binding decisions in the matter. Rather, they are a guide and resource for parents to address parenting issues during the divorce, and the voice of the child to the parents to help ensure things are not being overlooked.

Contact an Experienced Minnesota Family Law Attorney

Parenting time and custody disputes can be complex, and it’s essential to have a skillful family law attorney by your side to ensure the best interests of your children are met. Louise Livesay has helped families in the Twin Cities resolve their disputes respectfully and peacefully outside the courtroom for over twenty years. If you would like to learn more about resolving your family law matter using collaborative law or mediation, please contact us online for a consultation or by calling (651) 344-6100. We are available to meet in person or via Zoom, regardless of where you are in Minnesota.